I'd never heard of Penny Anderson before this morning but having inadvertently stumbled upon her piece on Ian Brown in the Guardian I now want to sabotage her writing career, disarticulate her puppy dog and turn her face in to pulp not only because I like Ian Brown but also because she makes me contemplate a sex change. She and her like, cue cunter number one Ms Mangan, epitomise the sort of women I despise not only as women but also as writers. They scribble indiscriminately old and bromidic tales of domesticity, devise and solve homologous dilemmas, expectorate bombastically about equality, empowerment and independence while simultaneously puling on and on about The One like schizophrenic hobbits and then of course they dip their toes in to controversy by 'daringly' lambasting things they neither know nor care about. This Penny's piece on Brown is just such nonsense. She opens with the following:

'To celebrate its 20th anniversary, The Stone Roses is to be repackaged as a box set. This amazes me, but then the misty-eyed adoration enjoyed by Ian Brown and co has always been baffling. The band's eponymous 1989 debut always seems to make the top 10 best-ever lists. How the hell did that happen?'

Answers on a postcard or a petard right through her front door. I know which one I'd go with. She then goes on to say that maybe her myopic, insular perspective is tainted by the band's on-stage performances which she describes as 'rallies for scallies', a valid point perhaps among the middle-aged virago circles? But who knows and what is more who cares, her biggest criticism of the band is that their work 'smelled pungently of bloke'. The word that comes to mind is sexist but then again she may just be a vitriolic aging lesbo. And yet she sees herself as nothing short of a socialist rebel proudly declaring to be 'against the tide' and subsequently having to endure numerous hate mail suggesting Ian Brown 'a god' and her as 'deaf' and worse, to add to which she scoffs: 'the mail had often been misogynistic, poorly spelled and scribbled ham-fistedly in green crayon.' I personally wouldn't go as far as 'deaf' but 'daft' without a question, what's more I won't attempt to deify Brown or his band mates and I will certainly not be dispatching any hate mail at least not in my favourite green crayon as I reserve it for special people like Doris Lessing ....somewhat unfortunately though perhaps for Ms Anderson I also won't be reserving my judgement, not on this occassion. CUNT.