Bartikins holds out a Converse box. I roll my eyes and say 'You played this prank on me last April Fools. It ain't gonna work.' He grins at the thought of my face last year when he tricked me with an empty box and gestures for me to take it. 'Oh give it here then,' I scoff and open the box to find a pair of brand new Converse trainers. Zap zing a ling bing bong! I'm happy.
Posts archive for: 1 April, 2008
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O bloody bastard new technology world
@ 2008-04-01 – 15:37:14
I have a very complicated relationship with mobile phones. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been without a fully-working one for several months to add to this I recently misplaced my sim card and had to ring up Three to get a replacement. They sent one out, albeit unwillingly. The bastard beastly cuntling doesn’t work.
Today I phoned up Three again already annoyed at having to do this. I went through all the usual bullshit, listened intently, burred and hummed and then finally said: ‘Any particular reason why the sim's not working?’ The customer service agent paused, then replied: ‘Yes. There is a technical problem.’, ‘A technical problem?’ I said. ‘Yes, a technical problem.’ He confirmed. ‘What kind of a technical problem?’ I asked. ‘A technical problem.’ He replied. And so for about ten minutes. In the end I lost my patients and said: ‘You better tell me when this mysterious technical problem will be resolved otherwise I'm gonna have your cock smoked like a kipper and fed to stray cats.’ Silence. A minute later, ‘My name is not kipper. My name is Kapoor.’Priceless.
