According to the Guardian Jeremy Paxman has penned a carping letter to Sir Stuart Rose, chief executive of Marks & Spencer, complaining about the slipping standards in the quality of their undergarments, men’s pants in particular which Paxman said ‘fail to provide adequate support’. Now, call me silly but sounds like Paxy's got some package.

'You should show me more respect and also more skin.'

And I want one! Wonder whether Pookie and giant bunny will get along...hmm

...and in it I was riding around on a giant sheep, the size of a horse if you can imagine. There was another rider in the meadow called SillySockie; a lanky fellow who maneuvered his animal vehicle by its ears and wore a t-shirt which said: I love Neil.
All very weird.

'Fuck me with a teaspoon.'

The one quality I value above all in others is a sense of humour. Perhaps it stems from the fact that I myself am not endowed with the capacity to make people laugh although it does transpire occasionally. When alone I often find myself recollecting amusing little pellets of conversation and moments of mirth from the past then giggling, at times hysterically, to myself irrespective of where I am. Perhaps not surprisingly, the general public find this somewhat disturbing and look at me as if I was mad but I don’t pay them any attention and carry on with my merriment. However, I do sometimes wonder what makes it impossible for people to laugh when they're alone and find the best explanation offered by Schopenhauer who attributed it to ‘want of imagination’ and general ‘dullness of mind’.

...the best thing for a disgruntled postman is a bribe of the confectionery variety.

Live and learn etc.

Have developed an acute addiction to pineapple chunks. Prefer Tesco’s own to Del Monte’s and Princess’. Monetary contributions towards Pineapple Chunk Addiction Fund would be highly appreciated.

Alternatively, suggestions on how to liberate oneself from addiction to exotic fruit are welcome.

'I approach it hesitantly like a monk approaches God.'

The pleasures of love are pains that become desirable, where sweetness and torment blend, and so love is voluntary insanity, infernal paradise, and celestial hell -- in short, harmony of opposite yearnings, sorrowful laughter, soft diamond.

Umberto Eco (1932 - )

A lot of you will probably think this a bucket of wank...but frankly I don't care...'cos I am now the proud owner of a virtual pet poodle called Pookie. Though rather temperamental, and on occasion sulky, I feel eventually he'll grow to love me nonetheless.

Here's to a long and torturous progression towards love or something like it. *Raises cup of tea, takes a sip and tosses Pookie a bone which hits him on the head and knocks him unconscious*

'If you were the plague I'd gladly will your sores on to my body.'