The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.

Truman Capote (1924 - 1984)

Men don't get smarter as they grow older, they just lose their hair.
Claudette Colbert – The Palm Beach Story

That's hotel life. In one room, a man loses his wallet, and in another room, a man loses his head.
Herbert Marshall – Trouble in Paradise

A boy sows a wild oat or two, the whole world winks. A girl does the same - scandal.
Katharine Hepburn – Adam's Rib

If we're gonna have a meetin', it had better come to more than just pokin' holes in the air with your finger.
Leonard Strong – Shane

I'm the guy that has to sit here up to my neck in phony claims so they won't throw more money out the window than they take in at the door.
Edward G. Robinson – Double Indemnity

Had my hair cut in to a Wintour style bob
Went out shopping for my cousin’s birthday present
Bought myself white cons and a pair of dark-denim skinnies
Stayed in bed and in my pyjamas till noon
Cried over Joy Division and spilt milk
Planned to cook a white wine and mushroom risotto (but didn’t)
Spent 5 hours talking on the phone to my best friend
Been someone’s rock
Went out jogging - twice
Saw Ian Brown, again
Bought a black beanie hat
Felt anti-social
Went to bed early
Have not had a single drink
Smoked more than usual
Have been looking forward to starting Uni
Wanted to be someone else
Was given the most beautiful drawing of a cat, ever
Used McDonalds toilet facilities twice
Dodged talking to Justin
Cancelled a few appointments
Had my debit card declined in M & S
Walked around Hyde Park in the rain
Reminisced fondly about Barcelona
Felt fat
Forgot to buy mouthwash
Watched a lot of crap on the telly
Had an argument with my mother
Drank a lot of green tea
Read my star sign everyday in the Metro
Forgot to go to the library
Didn’t take kindly to being wolf-whistled at
Lied
Missed my grandparents
Wrote an email to my aunt
Danced around the house in my underwear
Wondered if I’ll ever get married
Had a go at a member of staff in Boots
Needed a hug
Started reading The Catcher
Ate tuna steak on three different occasions
Whitnessed Rebecca Loos hiking through mud in 9 inch heels

Notice how the hyena bears an uncanny likeness to a man.

Eyes That Last I Saw In Tears

Eyes that last I saw in tears
Through division
Here in death’s dream kingdom
The golden vision reappears
I see the eyes but not the tears
This is my affliction

This is my affliction
Eyes I shall not see again
Eyes of decision
Eyes I shall not see unless
At the door of death’s other kingdom
Where, as in this,
The eyes outlast a little while
A little while outlast the tears
And hold us in derision.

T.S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

Rain Before Dawn

The dull, faint patter in the drooping hours
Drifts in upon my sleep and fills my hair
With damp; the burden of the heavy air
Is strewn upon me where my tired soul cowers,
Shrinking like some lone queen in empty towers
Dying. Blind with unrest I grow aware:
The pounding of broad wings drifts down the stair
And sates me like the heavy scent of flowers.

I lie upon my heart. My eyes like hands
Grip at the soggy pillow. Now the dawn
Tears from her wetted breast the splattered blouse
Of night; lead-eyed and moist she straggles o'er the lawn,
Between the curtains brooding stares and stands
Like some drenched swimmer -- Death's within the house!

F. Scott. Fitzgerald (1896-1940)

Half way through the day I found myself in a foul mood not for any particular reason but rather a plethora of trivial tickles that make one irritant and tired somewhere around 4:30 in the afternoon.
Dragging my feet home, I wondered wearily if my day could get any worse. Impatiently I stood at the crossing, waiting for the red to turn green when a young man made his way through a small mob of people and stood beside me. Slowly surveying the man I took my headphones out and waited for what was about to ensue.
‘I think you’re gorgeous’ he confided. I looked at him and smiled, my day had suddenly changed its course. True to form, he proceeded to ask me out which I sympathetically declined and off we went our own separate ways but my point is this: few men take the chance so my respect goes to all the ones that do.

By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.

Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784)

In a taxi halfway between home and the hospital. I've lived in twenty-seven different towns and cities.
Grace Kelly – To Catch A Thief

I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum.
Carry Grant – The Awful Truth

I love you, because you know such lovely people.
Myrna Loy – The Thin Man

I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
Oscar Levant – An American In Paris

I suppose it's a good thing to be uncomplicated, but it does sound a little dull.
Celia Johnson – Brief Encounter

The thing about graffiti that makes it what it is is the sense of social defiance entailed in its making. It is precisely that which distinguished it from various other art forms as the battle for public space and attention eradicates the proverbial line between vandalism and free expression. Graffiti challenges art as an elitist form by making it accessible to everyone, questions the status quo, answers back and often, if not always, brightens up my train journeys. So it comes as a bit of a blow when I hear that Banksy, a former cult figure at the forefront of Britain’s urban explosion, is peddling his art to slavishly trendy A-listers in downtown LA.

Banksy whose name is synonymous with defiant embodiments of focused graphic wit such as the ‘Mind the crap’ message on the steps of Tate Britain is, clearly, moving up in the world. His humble beginnings as an adolescent schoolboy in Bristol dabbling in graffiti when it was considered an aggressive form of counterculture, firmly behind him whilst he rubs shoulders with the likes of Jude Law and Keanu Reeves. His reputation confidently established among the very circles of pompous impresarios of the art establishment who he’d so vehemently mocked. But as with anyone,it was only a matter of time. Banksy's latest exhibition which according to invariable sources could not have been less ‘decidedly un-Beverly Hills’ will no doubt increase the market value of his work currently selling at £40,000 a piece. But don’t expect site-specific intervention pieces or clever graphic retorts it’s unlikely you’ll find them among Banksy’s more progressive work, which consists of enormous elephants and cockroaches trapped in a glass case. Much like the said exhibits Banksy himself displays a fine sense of bullshit when explaining his efforts. 'Essentially, it's about what a horrible place the world is, how unjust and cruel and pointless life is, and ways to avoid thinking about all that. One of the best ways turned out to be sitting in a warehouse making paintings about cruelty, pain and pointlessness.'

In spite of baiting galleries and rumours of commercial dealings with Puma Banksy remains a remarkable figurehead within urban Britain, and a revered creative force among his contemporaries but I can’t help but think that his artistic proclivity that previously functioned on every level, expressing a real sense of an individual questioning, reacting and answering back will be compromised by his new found coffee-table celebrity after all Banksy is at his most effective, outdoors, in the open air.

Quite a wonderful poem by Goethe, which illuminates a few things, I myself am too poorly equipped to say.

The Holy Longing

Tell a wise person, or else keep silent,
because the mass man will mock it right away.
I praise what is truly alive,
what longs to be burned to death.

In the calm water of the love-nights,
where you were begotten, where you have begotten,
a strange feeling comes over you,
when you see the silent candle burning.

Now you are no longer caught in the obsession with darkness,
and a desire for higher love-making sweeps you upward.

Distance does not make you falter.
Now, arriving in magic, flying,
and finally, insane for the light,
you are the butterfly and you are gone.
And so long as you haven't experienced this: to die and so to grow,you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.

Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976)